Outside of space and time
Why am I so nervous? It's not like I haven't met up with him before, in this hotel. I perspire every time. Perhaps some part of him makes me nervous, makes my thoughts race. Just take a deep breath and anticipate his arrival.
I see him approaching through the automatic sliding doors of this lobby, making his grand entrance like he always does. Why am I describing it that way? I love the drama of these sorts of things. He will approach me, and we will hug each other. It always feels like a new experience. Yes we've hugged many times over the last year and a half, but it always feels new to me. I am lucky. "Hey!" He exclaims. He's a good head taller than me. His voice travels over my head, and I have to stand taller to catch his words. I don't really, but yeah. I love that he's taller than I am. My ears could easily listen to his beating heart. Literal music to my ears.
I smile and greet him in return. My lower back is dewey. I smile and look him in the eyes. One of my favorite things to do when I see him. I suppose I feel I can catch a glimpse of his soul this way. The very core of him. What a treat it is to be this close. "It's good to see you! How was the drive?"
He lives nearby so I know it was a short drive, but I want to hear him speak. As if we won't be doing enough talking this evening. He speaks and I listen with a childish grin. My mind half wanders to the days when we were strangers. Seeing pictures online of him for the first time had me dumbfounded. How cliche to say, but I was caught off guard by the sight of him. This man is beautiful. The freckles on his golden skin remind me of stars in the sky. I remind him of this often. My lucky stars. I love his curly dark brown hair. It feels good when I run my fingers through the many strands; tickling and electrifying my senses.
I must have caught the good grace of some deity to have been born when I was, and for him to be born in my lifetime. It feels like this. A series of fortunate and unfortunate events that had me stumbling into his path and how he would soon offer his hand to help me up.
It was a few months before I decided to just say hi, and from there we were off. Not knowing what was to come, where this would be leading, all the moments we would soon share, our first kiss, catching sight of his bare flesh for the first time, tasting every inch of him. How those moments led us down this lovely path of innocence, filth, and more importantly, companionship. Even this moment we're sharing as we are about to head up to our room for the night, hasn't happened yet. It may not happen like this, but something very similar may or may not happen. I suppose there's beauty in imagining, anticipating what we may get up to. Even as he stands here before me, wearing anything I could even imagine, will be vastly different when the real moment happens. That moment may not happen. My mind plays with these constants and variables. The joys of an overactive imagination. To imagine the possible and impossible, and to make it possible in my mind, and in real life. I suppose nothing is really ever impossible, maybe improbable, but not this gorgeous man. He is as real as the sun shines, and I have met him.
We step into the elevator, and I press the button for our floor. It jolts and we are ascending. I'm still feeling the jitters from this man and what he does to me. I ask myself why I'm so nervous, but there's no use. It's a wonderful feeling to experience. I let out a light chuckle and smile. He turns to look at me and grins himself. I grab hold of his hand and give a gentle squeeze. These hands of his, holding the world in them, will hold me for the evening.
The elevator stops at our floor and we exit. Hotel hallways are always a little creepy. You sometimes won't see another soul, and it was just that now. We locate our room quickly and unlock the electronic door. It opens, and closes behind us with a loud clang. The room is just as it should be. A room that will hold the both of us as we hold each other, both in conversation, and as we drape ourselves across the king sized bed. Catching comfort in many ways.
This room is fabricated as well. It exists in a real location that I had and will travel to. At this moment, it exists out of space and time and was born from a wish. I willed it into existence. As we occupy it, time comes to a stop outside of the door. We are tucked away into but a tiny pocket in the universe, which I still cannot fathom has allowed this meeting. I dare not ask too many questions of the vast universe as at any moment, this dream may end. For now, I will indulge. Drink his every step. His hands are gifts to be beheld, his skin to be admired. This boy is a mirage and I ask myself if I am delirious. All this drunken talk that I have been steeping inside of me, as if I am mad. Obsessed. I smile. Perhaps I am, but no better moment in time to be.
