What happened?

I remember someone I used to be friends with said that what I was feeling and going through, I was doing it to myself. That I was a narcissist, not a good person, and deserved what was I getting. This former friend I believe contributed to me getting kicked out of my previous living situation. I had confided in him what I did. The taking of the pinch of weed. Former main roomie kicked me out based on this. Honestly tho, to focus on that despite what else was going on in that house was a real kick in the balls.

I am talking about this because it frequently crosses my mind. It's one of those things that I'm sure people would like me to forget and not talk about. The below is not me saying people are bad. I am just telling for what I observed and reacted to.

The timeline was between January and July of 2024. January and February I was also dealing with the death of my grandfather and the traveling back home for the funeral services. Another part of the frequent recalling of these events is because of how the start of the year played out. The death of my grandfather, the moving in with the new roomies, and so on. I am trying to untie the events so they are not associated, but they are.

Main roomie, handsey roomie, myself, my bf at the time, and whatever combination of 1 or 2 of the main bfs bfs who happened to be visiting. I will not talk of my bf at the time because he solely observed in the situations and did not participate or react. He just kept his mouth shut at all times and has his own opinions on what he observed.

The roomie which the weed belonged was very handsey with the main roomies bfs. Even justified his handseyness with "implied consent" at one point. One of the main roomies bfs was becoming uncomfortable with it and was too scared to do so. He didn't live in the apartment and didn't want to cause issues. The main roomie didn't want to do anything about it. His reasoning was that it was between them two and they should resolve it. The problem still persisted. The bf did not want to say anything and felt he shouldn't.

The 3 of us worked from home. Handsey roomie could not sit in his room alone for 10 minutes and had to be up and out of his room in everyone's business and was super loud all the time. He'd loudly open his door many multiple times during his working hours. Forcefully. I'd make comments about this to the main roomie in which he would dismiss me. Since me living there was more or less a favor. Long story short, no accomodations would be made. Just accept it as it was. Despite me also paying a part of the rent.

The main roomie got tired of me complaining about handsey roomies lack of cleaning. He ate enough food for 2 people. Frequently snacking throughout the work day and left all the dishes. Main roomie ended up taking care of it most of the time. He also began to get upset with me making comments on the number of times the handsey roomie would leave his room. Saying he could leave his room whenever he wanted, and that I was upset with everyone "living their lives." It is true that he could leave his room whenever, but that came with constant interruptions.

I would hug one of the main roomies bfs and mention the word consent. Which I was told not to say after awhile. I could not say "I'm giving you a consensual hug" etc. This was my way of sniping at the main roomie for not protecting his bf from the handsey roomie and allowing it to go on. Handsey roomie was not usually in earshot I believe. This did not help tensions. My issue was that these things were not being addressed and it was becoming a concern.

One day the bf who was uncomfy with all the touching exploded on the handsey roomie. Brought up how he hated seeing his bf wash handsey roomies dishes. It was thought that it would be me and the handsey roomie who would duke it out. Surprise. It wasn't. There was tension between then for a bit. I would vent here and there to the uncomfy bf about stuff which of course was getting back to the main roomie.

In March or so of that year, I snuck a pinch of weed from the handsey roomie because it was frustrating not being heard. This was done out of revenge. I knew fine and well it was wrong, but I wanted to vent the frustration somehow. Some week or so later, I go and visit some friends and tell one of them what I did. This is what I believe led to the start of me getting removed from the apartment. Nothing else happens.

Closer to summer handsey roomie gets into a physical confrontation with one of the neighbors who lived in the building. Handsey roomie had apparently popped their kiddie pool in the shared back yard out of anger. Handsey roomie was out in the back yard on another day and the neighbor rushed out and attacked him. A small tussle ensued and the result was some minor injuries. My bf at the time was home and texted me about what happened. I got home not too long later. He tells me that the neighbor does not like the handsey roomie and apparently no one else in the building did. There were 2 or 3 other families. Handsey roomie wants the attacker arrested, and the cops say it's a civil issue and do nothing.

At the end of June while I was out, I get a text message from the main roomie, telling me that I have a month and some weeks to move out. He was giving me notice to vacate. How I lost someone who cared for and looked after me. I was ungrateful and they knew I took the weed. How they wanted to enjoy cheaper rent so they waited. I learned after it was also mentioned by main roomie that handsey roomie got a better paying job and they didn't need me there anymore. Main roomie also mentioned how he felt disrespected and unappreciated by me. Selfish, immature, messy, and self centered. That I didn't realize that my actions have consequences. Once I was out, he never wanted to hear from me again. I did not reply to his message. I took it for what it was and began to prepare for the moving out.

I learned later that the main roomie and the friend that I confided about the weed were talking a lot of shit. Main roomie was more or less keeping tabs on my actions and what I was doing between the months I lived there. Almost like they were psyching each other up on criticizing everything about me. At point point it was said that I would get mad at the handsey roomie by just opening and closing his door.

During those months, I got on lexapro as it was observed by the main roomie that I was exhibiting sings of depression. At the start of the year I was sleep deprived from the big move in with them. This was sparked by a huge spike in rent. I am thankful to have been taken in don't get me wrong. I paid my share of rent, and helped whenever I could. However to ignore handsey roomies actions as well. I was the only one to face consequences which are known to those around is. To omit the other actions is what really got to me. I told people who asked. I showed them his text and admitted what I did. I am not trying to justify anything about what I did, it was just funny how I was the only one. No one took into consideration the times handsey roomie invited himself to smoke up with me and the other bf. Handsey roomie could take what he wanted without asking. Why was he the only one allowed to do so.

This year on some random accident, I see the bf that was not comfy with the handsey roomie. He was visiting an apartment near where I lived. I texted him as we hadn't talked in awhile. It was forbidden for me to even reach out. He said that he was just visiting a friend. We get to talking about things and he tells me that he and the former main roomie broke up. He told me about how he made a comment to the handsey roomie and the handsey roomie lashed out and choked him. It got to a point that the now ex bf of main roomie had to call the cops. Because of that, he was broken up with. He showed me a screenshot between them. Main former roomie claimed he did not see any choking. There is a picture of the now ex bf. Red marks around his neck. He tells former main roomie that the cops think it's from being choked. They were broken up. Now ex bf was still living there but trying to get out. Things were not good between the 3 of them. I do not know the details of the year that I was out. It was late Spring 2025 at this point and this was the first thing I had heard of. I felt bad for the ex bf. We stopped talking by mid summer. I imagine he moved out as I did not see him when I happened to see the ex main roomie and his bfs out at an event in June. That was very strange...

There's more to this complicated story that I may get into as I collect my thoughts. To form a complete picture. I know I am not innocent, and carry guilt. I do not deny that. Getting kicked out was deeper than just taking the pinch of weed.

Since the ex roomie mentions I had to leave because of the weed is only part of it. How many people hear about all the other things that went on.